A New look at road safety

Last weekend I spent a lot of time on the motorways around the south east of England. Some of it was working, driving a truck, and some of it was, in my car, out of necessity rather than for pleasure.

I spent an awful lot of this time stationary. Why? Because there was a major accident on nearly every Motorway in the south east on both Saturday, and Sunday. M25, M40, M3, M4, M1, M23. Now when you are sitting in traffic waiting to move, you have plenty of time to think. I started to wander what had caused so many accidents in such a small area in such a small time, and came up with the ideal solution, one that will not only prevent accidents, save lives and make the roads much safer for all, but also benefit the economy, and the environment.

Everybody knows that trucks are dirty, noisy, nasty things that are driven by morons, who like nothing more than causing accidents and delaying everyone, but on the weekend, there are relatively few trucks on the road, however, there are millions of cars. Each car is driven by someone who, at some time in their lives has passed a driving test. Well, I hope that they have.

 Now we all know that once you pass a test to drive a car, you are the greatest thing since mother lost here pride and sliced her loaf. You don’t need to learn anything else, you never need to undertake refresher driving courses, and no one can ever tell you how to drive. WRONG!

 99% of car drivers take no further training after passing their test, unless they have a medical condition, or get banned and are required by the court to retake the test. You could have passed your test 60 years ago in an old Austin A30, and now be driving around in an Aston Martin DB9 without ever taking any further training. When you took your test, back in 1960, there were no motorways, very few cars could travel at above 100MPH, let alone 70MPH, Disc brakes, fuel injection, Diesel cars, radial ply tyres, as well as things like ABS, EBS and traction control, were way ahead in the future.

Even someone passing a test today, is not equipped to go out on the roads alone, and yet we let them, no requirement to undertake further training, no restriction on the vehicle they can drive, other than the cost of insurance. How many times do we hear the story about a young, normally male driver under 25, killing himself and possibly his mates because he thinks he is a better driver than anyone else?

Now here is my solution, the CPCD, or Certificate of Proficient Car Driving. This would be a training course that each driver would have to attend in order to renew his/her licence every five years. It would comprise of 5 x 7 hour training “modules” taken over a five year period either separately, or as one 35 hour week long course. There would be no pass or fail, just attend and get the hours in.

Training schools could register modules based on PowerPoint presentations, with no requirement to actually go anywhere near a car or road, where groups of people could pay up to £100 a time to sit and listen to the instructor. There could be lots of coffee and smoke breaks, as well as luncheon provided at extra cost.

Some of the modules could teach such interesting things as The highway code, speed limits, how to enter and exit a motorway without cutting someone up, the correct use of signals, how to read road signs, lane discipline, how not to “undertake”, how not to use your mobile phone to send a text while driving, drinking a skinny latte and smoking a B&H. how not to put on your make up or shave using the rear view mirror, and how not to chat constantly to your passengers without looking once in your mirror.

There could be courses in how to read a map, how to use a Sat Nav, how to anticipate and plan ahead. We could have distance and length modules, where car drivers have to judge the braking distance of a fully laden truck against the gap just in front of it. They could learn how to plan a journey, so that they actually set out in plenty of time to get to the end without having to drive at 100MPH, up the backside of the car in front, because they might be late at the office Perhaps people could be taught how NOT to turn caravans over every Saturday in the summer.

There could be a “born again biker” module, targeted at those lads who, back in the sixties rode a BSA Bantam down to Brighton to have it out with the lambretta boys, or in the seventies, had a Suzuki 125 and now feel the need to re-live their youth. How to squeeze yourself into leathers that are obviously far too small for your belly might be one. How not to show off to your mates outside the Pub could be another.

We could extend it to cyclists too, How Not to pass thorough red lights, how to use cycle lanes when they are available instead of using the road and blocking the path of car and truck drivers. Pedestrians could be made to complete courses on how to operate Pelican crossings, and what a picture of a little red man means. Mothers could be taught not to push their pushchair and baby into the road without first looking.

Now for the advantages, first of all the reduction in road accidents would mean that everyone would get to where they are going quicker, leaving the roads quieter at busy times. Emergency services, such a Fire, police and ambulance could concentrate on the other duties they have to perform, like putting out fires, catching criminals, and treating sick people. The NHS would save millions every year that could be spent on such things as new cancer drugs, and caring for the elderly.

The individuals will gain because by learning to drive more efficiently, they will save much more in fuel costs than the price of a days training and therefore can afford to pay the mortgage.

The environment will benefit, because as people drive more efficiently, there will be less pollutants sent into the atmosphere. If we could only stop Golfers, and VW golf owners drivelling on, we could close the hole in the ozone layer. Fossil fuels will last much longer, giving us time to find an alternative to nuclear. The government will lose a little in fuel duty, but will be quid’s in from the NHS savings and the Extra VAT they can charge on the training courses.

Finally, we can reduce the unemployment lines dramatically, as we will need millions of new Driver trainers
Hmmm, think I’m onto something here, might stand for a seat in the European Parliament, where I can wangle myself onto  a Quango to oversee this, it, will mean lots of fact finding trips to Jamaica, Seychelles, Fiji and other such motoring hot spots.

It’s a difficult job, but somebody’s got to do it!