I became aware of Russian taxi drivers during a visit to the country by air. Now I’d been to Russia before, but never had to deal with taxi drivers, other than to dodge out of their way while trying to negotiate Nevsky Prospect in central St Petersburg.
This time I was on a social visit to my friend out in Siberia. My route took me from Heathrow to Moscow, arriving at around 6am, them from Moscow, departing at 7pm, to Irkutsk arriving at about 5am local time the following day, total travelling time from door to door, about 27 hours! As I was a bit nervous of catching a bus into the city of Moscow, I decided I would stay at the airport and try to catch some sleep on a bench or the floor or in the café. After collecting my luggage and passing through the immigration, I entered the main terminal area. A lot of the buildings were still left over from the communist era, Sherametyevo airport being one of them. At this time it was about as interesting as Milton Keynes bus station on a wet Wednesday, and had even less in the way of facilities. The first thing that greeted me was a plethora of taxi drivers, all shouting and pushing each other, trying to persuade me to take their taxi. I tried to tell them that I did not want a taxi, but they just pretended they didn’t understand me. One offered me a sight-seeing tour of Moscow for £35, yeah, right! They get you into the city, and then demand more money from you. I pushed my way through them and found a bench to try and get some sleep on. I had 13 hours to kill, and after an overnight flight, I needed to sleep. Not that the taxi drivers were willing to let me, they kept on coming over and asking me if want a taxi!
Now anyone who knows Russian women will know that they are some of the most beautiful in the world. They dress to impress, and are not afraid to show it! So spending so much time in Moscow airport was quite an exercise in restraint for me, being, as I am, a dirty old man! My neck became sore from twisting this way and that, blondes and brunettes of such stunning beauty; it was like watching a 13 hour long rally at a Wimbledon final.
A word about Aeroflot. Anyone who knows anything about aviation will know of stories of aeroflop and its reputation for planes landing heavily! So I was more than pleased that the flight from Heathrow was on a modern Airbus. The service was as good as I have had on some western airlines, not as good as BA, but acceptable. The flight was full and I sat on an aisle seat. Opposite me was a Scotsman who was working in Moscow, and we had a good chat about Russia. On my left was a Kazakhstani diplomat who was keen to practise his English, and a Russian businessman who produced a hip flask full of vodka, and insisted we join him in a tipple.
At sheremetyevo airport, there are 2 terminals, one for international flights, and one for domestic flights. I left it as late as I could the transfer as the scot had warned me that the domestic terminal had little or no facilities. When I arrived it was packed! No seats, a small coffee bar with a large queue and not much else.
My flight to Irkutsk was on a Tupolev TU154, a 3 engine jet similar to a Trident or Boeing 727 dating from the 1960’s but the one I was on was made in the 80’s. My confidence wasn’t given a boost when the sign on the Emergency exit fell on my head on take-off! Being a cold country, there were blankets on all seats, but it was a surprisingly smooth flight with good service and we arrived on time.
Irkutsk airport in notorious for difficult landings, a month before I arrived, an Airbus A300 had crashed there, killing all on board. The airport was just undergoing modernisation, so the terminal building was a bit of a shed. We arrived at the same time as a flight from Korea and the arrivals hall was about the size of a toilet cubicle. Baggage reclaim was in the next room, even smaller. Baggage from both flights arrived at the same time and was dumped together in one corner. Near the door was a table, with an elderly woman sitting behind it. Her job was to check your luggage tags against your luggage reclaim ticket, and despite the difficulties with numbers of people, and space, she handled it so well, she should play in the scum for wasps!
My lady was waiting for me as I exited the airport. By coincidence, another of her friends, was on the same flight as me, and was staying at our apartment. We made our way to the taxi rank. The first car was a Lada, my lady’s friend had bought a lot of gifts for friends and family in 2 large suitcases which filled the boot, so I sat in the back with my suitcase on my knee. The driver, realising that we weren’t going very far, saw a chance to get back and collect another fare from the flight arrivals, so took off like Michael Schumacher throwing me and my case hard against the back seat. Luckily it was early morning so not much on the roads. Which was just as well when we took a roundabout on the wrong side of the road. On the way to our apartment there is an urban dual carriageway. To get into the estate meant driving along about one kilometre, doing a U turn at the roundabout, and then returning about half a kilometre before turning into the estate. Not our driver. About half way along is a zebra crossing, with a gap in the central reservation, our driver turned through this, then drove the wrong way for about 200 metres before turning into our estate.
Finally we arrived at the apartment and I was able to relax. However, it soon dawned on me that, in a few weeks’ time, I would have to do the same journey in reverse!
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